Jessica L. Montgomery 

City University

Abstract

The image of a portrait reveals it's self to an artist in different modes. Sometimes it's a mania that sweeps through an artist causing an uncontrollable desire to spill one's thoughts onto canvas until the final image reveals a masterpiece. Other times, it's not so effortless, and the artist stares at his or her fresh unsoiled canvas contemplating where to begin until frustration consumes the soul and devastation becomes inevitable. This is an equal comparison to the path of an obsessive compulsive writer such as me.


A Writer's Storm

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As an obsessive compulsive writer, my ability to utilize the fundamental theories of writing becomes a conflict. I neither use outlines, clusters, or other preferred forms of beginnings. These measures completely frustrate me making me lose my train of thought and causing me to encounter fits of intense emotional distress. I also find it nearly impossible to handwrite anything of value. Therefore it would be correct to assume that the majority of my work is accomplished from beginning to end via computer and for the most part isn't planned at all. It simply happens. I call this process a writer's storm.


Like a storm in progress things roam ramped. In my mind, things do the same when I attempt to put pen to paper or in my case fingers to keys. I sit down at my computer and allow the words to flow. Some words flow freely and make perfect sense and others cross topics. When this happens, I simply scroll down then later go back and group the similar items to form paragraphs, eliminate unnecessary thoughts, and reexamine the over all picture. Over all, like a storm, this process can take hours, days, or when fortunate minuets. In my case, I believe my own barriers of observation, procrastination, and other personal defects have a lot to do with how long this process takes. But then we shall discuss that part later. For now I should return to the topic of the writer's storm and say that there are additional steps that must be included for educational term papers. These documents require research, observation, or other source of references and that of course is where the fun begins. This process requires a little more work. Let me explain.
In my experience, research writing requires a lot more than my typical process of free spirit typing. First I must choose a topic. Sometimes the topic is chosen for me and I simply have to break it down in to something I can handle. Other times, I have to start from scratch. Ether way I try to chose something I enjoy. If this is not an option, then I have to deal with what I am given. Secondly, it demands me to rely on another person's opinion, experience, or area of expertise. This more or less forces me to embark on the untamed path of critical thinking (I say untamed because my mind likes to wander). You see, I'm not only expected to collect specimens that are better know as facts, bring them home, and observe them through the use of highlighters, note taking, or any other way I see fit until I feel I understand their meaning. But when I'm finished probing through all their juicy information, documenting their sources in the appropriate manner (both in-text and in the reference section), and casting them aside I'm expected to add my own inferences otherwise known as thoughts in order to form a generalized Thesis and overview of my own. Not a lot one can do to change the process when it's the only one that seems to work for you. So I seem to stick with it. Of course the rest of the writing process goes right back to the path of the writer's storm where I take the facts from memory and write, paging down until I have enough built up to form a paragraph and once that occurs, I group like thoughts together. This will ultimately lead to a thesis sentence and a conclusion being formed some where around the end. Kind of sounds simple right? Well, after thirty four years it is to me. However, I have my ups and downs.


What? Surely you didn't think that just because I have this grand working process that I've even named that it's fail proof because even some of the most workable systems have their quirks. However, in the case of the writer's storm, the issues stem from me.
As an obsessive compulsive writer, I've already mentioned my inability to hand write my work. However, I did not elaborate on the reasons. Part of this stems from my struggle with spelling, grammar, punctuation, and sentence structure. These technicalities often create the impulse to recopy complete sentences and in return complete pages or essays; which can be a time consuming problem. When you add in the fact that I often struggle with word choice, it makes Microsoft word a logical choice due to the spell check, synonyms, and other correction devices the program offers. What can I say, I'm a Psychology major not an English Major. So with that said, what type of psychological behaviors do I see that hinder my writing process?


That's a great question! For those who are unfamiliar, I'm talking about observational barriers which are things like attitude, atmosphere, emotions, belief systems, values, or day to day experiences that effect a person's ability to observe things for what they really are. In my case, this could be something as simple as a lack of interest in the topic it's self or as huge as my family environment consuming my brainpower while I'm trying to concentrate. It could be the continuous strings of illness that overcome me at the worst of times or one I've almost over come; procrastination. These factors definitely cause problems in the research and completion process of a document and in return causes it to lose its luster. When things lose luster, I panic. How ever there is a bright side to this and that's where we will move on to a more positive topic.


Once a person is clear about their weaknesses, I believe it becomes feasible for them to build upon them. This also allows the opportunity for them to focus on their strengths. In my case my weaknesses cause frustration and this emotion although alarming allows my panic button to place my mind on auto pilot. One of my greatest strengths and motivations is that I work well under pressure. I enjoy a good challenge and find comfort in achieving what other's often deem impossible. As I look back over my lists of weaknesses, I notice that most of them are functional because as soon they create conflict my brain begins to seek external sources that will eliminate their control. I suppose that makes my second strength self motivation.

Conclusion 

Self motivation is a great place to conclude this paper because self
motivating people do not allow barriers to block progress. This is personal growth for me because several years ago, the barriers discussed above were crippling where as today they barely slow me down. Why you ask? Well, not only did I learn to ask questions, I learned to followed advice. In doing so, I've been taught many things including how to use reference material to find information, and spell check to fix my spelling / grammar errors. This quarter, I've added two new support services to my list. The first is www.smartthinking.com . This site offers students help with not only writing needs but other areas of educational difficulty as well. The second site is www.turnitin.com . This site allows students to submit written work to be judged for plagiarism. I've really enjoyed the second one. I mean honestly, compare the few seconds it takes to submit an entry along with the few more minuets it takes to correct the problems to the destruction that a charge of plagiarism would have on a student's educational career. I'd personally prefer the extra work.


So, where do I go from here? What do I plan to do in order to continue to work on my short comings? Well the answer is simple. You see, closed mouths don't get fed. Support can only come when people know you need it. And determination to follow through will make all the difference in the world. So, I will continue to ask questions when I need help. I will continue to seek new and improve resources. I will continue to allow others to help guide me so that my writer's storm can continue to grow in it's own unique, determined way.